Lover's Carvings

"Lovers' names, carved in walls
Overlap, start to merge
Some of them underneath
Maybe they appear
In graveyards
Maybe they fade away
Weathered and overgrown
Time has told
Meaningful hidden words
Suddenly appear, from the murk
Maybe they're telling us
That the end
Never was
Never will
The words have gone
But the meaning will never disappear
From the wall"

Lover's Carvings - Bibio

I love when it's warm, windy, and gray like it has been for the past couple of days. It's weather like this that is very condusive to creativity. I sit, look out the windows of my office building, and watch, always mulling things around in my head.

I've been thinking a lot lately about the people that have come into my life as if on a gray warm wind and then quickly blow out again. They have served a purpose in my life. Some have helped me, some have soothed a wound, some have taught a lesson. I wonder if I've been lucky enough to have really learned those lessons.

There have been many people like that in my life. In the past 3 months alone there have been 2 people like that.

Person #1: This person taught me something very valuable. I told him about my failed teaching career and how I learned too late that I don't want to teach. He said "Kate, I'm almost 40 and I am still discovering new things about myself everyday." Very astute. Why do we think self discovery and personal evolution stop at adulthood? His remark was eye opening. I appreciated that he didn't judge me. He just let me in on an amazing secret...it ain't over til it's over. Keep learning who you are.

Person #2: This person had some kind of inner grace and strength that I recognized and wanted to cultivate in myself. I was drawn to it from the start. This person taught me to stand still and appreciate. I was preoccupied with being a certain type of person and fitting into a mold and this person shook me out of that mindset. This person made me stop, look around, and just be still. I think I've learned that there is no perfect life, no perfect person to become, no perfect "thing" to have. You can't have everything, but if you're lucky you can have some things, hopefully the imprtant things that you really need. Through this brief friendship I was shown that the moments of beauty in between will always be worth living for. Be strong, strive to deserve goodness.

When I think about Person #2 I see a dandelion growing in the crack of a sidewalk, always reaching and striving for the light, happy to be alive.

Both of these people breezed in and out. I took what I needed from them and probably just gave them pain in return. I don't think...I know I gave them nothing but pain. I hope the Universe somehow pays them back for all their kindness and help since I know I will probably never be able to pay them back myself.

Here's my song of the day.