Sometimes I feel so socially retarted. For example, this whole weekend I had to go to family functions (Scott's family - not mine). I ALWAYS feel so out of place and bombarded when I'm with his family. They all hug and kiss eachother and I'm just so uncomfortable with that. My family just isn't like that. My mother and I don't even hug so it's just so strange to hug other people. Am I cold?
I don't know how to deal with this - I shut down and retreat into myself. And it's like they know I'm uncomfortable and force themselves on me all the more...it just makes me want to stay home.
Scott's sister's babyshower was yet another example of this. My mother and I chose a table on the far side of the room and Scott's mother's cousins came and sat with us. It was fine until one of them introduced herself to my mother. I didn't even think to introduce them because I couldn't remember if they had met before. My mother was like "OH, you're SO rude Katie!" and I said "Sorry, I thought you met eachother before..." So the whole day I had to go around introducing my mother to everyone and get bombarded with questions about my upcoming wedding. The same questions over and over again...
I know it means alot to Scott that I blend well with his family but I don't think I will ever be truly comfortable around them. I'm sensitive and manage to mask it with humor so they all think I'm much more solid and tough than I am. I don't think they ever consider that I may not be comfortable and don't want to be forced into conversation with people I hardly know.
I'm so upset because I know that our wedding will be the same way. Me being forced into an uncomfortable situation and worse because I'll be in the white dress. There's no escaping that. What can I do?
Elope?
ReplyDeleteI'm married to a girl like that. Hates and fears social situations around tons of people. Part of it is because people seem to have a knack for projecting their desires for how they want you to act, and you'd rather not be everyone else's puppet. I'm guessing that confrontation isn't something you look forward to?
And here's the catch 22: If you don't talk, they'll think you're a cold bitch, and if you DO talk, it's tons of stress for you.
I'm pretty confident in public, though I have a desire most of the time to want to control the amount of random conversations that happen. Most of the time I hide away because I desire 'alone time.' For most people, this is seen as 'bizarre', but that's just how I am.
On the plus side, you can at least see this within yourself and admit it. You can open up somewhere, and that's a good thing.
I'm fine around large crowds of people that I already know - it's just hard with strangers. I guess it will just be awkward for awhile. I resent them pushing themselves on me and expecting me to be "part of the family" right away. I want to scream "Back off a little bit!"
ReplyDeleteMeh, alcohol, the great social lubricator. lol