When I sit here in my office my mind will sometimes play tricks on me. I can stare off into space and imagine myself almost anywhere...Today I'll be thinking about Paris. It's been ten years since I was there. Ten years ago today I was at Monet's gardens at Giverney. It was snowing in Paris but Giverney was in full bloom. I can't even explain how that first experience of traveling to Europe changed my life. My eyes were opened.
"The poison was in the wound, you see."
My heart aches at the weirdness of life. Ten years ago today I would never have imagined myself sitting behind this desk -I had bigger better plans. And now I've broken my own heart with how things have turned out. I wanted something different for myself. But we all have our limitations. I have all the talent and none of the drive.
So what now...I wonder where I will be sitting 10 years from now today. What will I be looking back on then? What transformations will have taken place by that point. I know they will take place. I'm not the same person I was 10 years ago and ten years from now I'll be different from today. Will I have children? Will I even have the time to reflect or will life become too hectic and busy for that. I can only wonder. When will I know what I want or will I wander through life without ever being able to make solid decisions.
What do I really love doing? Where is the joy in my life? What can I not live without?
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